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Hello. I am making this simple website for people who are facing end-of-life issues, personally or professionally. My goal is to spread this message: Get important conversations started early, while you can, even if the conversation is only with yourself.

But, you might ask, what if I'm uncomfortable talking to people who are very ill? What are the important questions to ask and how do I ask them? What if I don't know what to say? What if the questions are too scary? I hope to address these issues.

Before you can really be of service to someone else in their illness and dying process, you MUST come to some grips with your own mortality. Preparing for your OWN death makes you a more effective caregiver in general.

DIRECTIONS: Follow the links at the left, and start answering questions for yourself. These questions are also great for working in small groups or one-on-one with your friends and loved ones who may or may not be seriously ill. Please read the "other attentional activities" (links in the green box) and make death studies a part of your life. Doing these other activities will increase your equanimity with mortality so you can be of better service. If you're caring for someone who is terminally ill you can offer to work through these questions and the death planning with them.

In my experience with terminally ill people, many of them have really enjoyed the questions. Being asked directly about their lives and their wishes empowers people with terminal illness. The questions have sparked smiles and laughter and more conversations for me and folks I've helped.

You can download and print out the pdf of questions.

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This website is informational and based on my personal experience as a friend, a helper and a nurse. I am not giving legal advice nor medical advice.

 

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Marcie Vallette

mvallette@hotmail.com